Hey everyone, and happy belated one year anniversary of my accident. From the bottom of my heart I want to thank EACH of you for praying for and diligently thinking of and supporting me this last year. I can’t believe I’ve been so diligently presented to my Lord for healing and protection. When I get to heaven I’ll be sure to mention you all.
Like usual, my where-with-all to respond to the gifts and cards is not back yet. But I cannot overstate the love each one gives me. I feel so utterly alone in this battle 99.99999999999999999% of the time even though I have an amazing husband, friends, and twin sister to get through this all with. I really can’t stress what your messages and cards saying that you’re STILL praying for me means to me…
I’d like to give you some updates:
- Ryne and I recently went on a cruise together to quickly find out that we’re not cruise people. There were way too many kids for us to really relax. Not enough pools and not enough hot tubs. The alcohol (that I didn’t spill) and comedy were SO good though.
- At the end of our vacation we met two of our very dearest friends ( the Mocks ) with my sister and bro in law in Philadelphia to climb the Rocky Balboa steps. Unfortunately, the steps were closed (with no exception) for Jay Z, Cardi B, and Lizzo. Personally, I think if Jay-Z knew that “I was here” by Beyonce was one of my theme songs he probably would have let me climb the stairs. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i41qWJ6QjPI grab some tissues, you’re going to thank me later). Thanks to Ryne I was able to climb stairs TWICE as high anyway.
- My new therapists feel like my long lost family members! My Physical Therapist, Steven, is kind and super challenging, my favorite combo of a person. If that wasn’t enough he loves Jesus and loves being a father to his many kids. Like, actually loves. He fricken raised them, went to PT school, and homeschooled them at the same time so that THEY could receive full ride educations. And many of them did. So there’s that. He’s definitely my long lost father. Rachel, who is my Occupational Therapist, and meeting me TO RIDE HORSES in like an hour, has already made it possible for me to do photography again AND cook a meal. Ally, my speech therapist, reminds me SO much of my twin sissy. She fiercely advocates for me and protects my sleep. I mean come on, could I be any more fortunate? Plus Kathy, my social worker, and Dr. Gabara, my physician, will literally go to bat for me on just about anything. I wish everyone could receive care like this…
- Based on the love and support (which sometimes feels supernatural) coming in from friends and family I often wonder if God is using them to speak love to me right now.
- I am astounded and so grateful to be back at my old job at the Klump lab where everyone seems to value any capabilities I still harbor. I officially came back on Monday of last week and I was happily surprised to find cards and gifts showering my desk. Honestly, for some reason they love me sooo well. I still have to stew on the love to believe it’s real life. Fortunately, my supervisors at Hope are allowing me to work from home some days further mimicking the schedule I used to keep. Finally, my supervisor at Hope mentioned that Kelly is still willing to supervise my tllp (temporary licensed psychology) hours for me. omg!
- Lately, per my speech therapists urging, I’ve been trying to journal again. If you knew me well before the accident, then you would remember that journaling was my main way of speaking to God and sorting through my thoughts. So as illegible it can be sometimes, I ultimately think journaling is going to benefit me coming back to myself in the long run.
Finally I have a few prayer requests:
- The cloud of sadness over my head never lifts.
- I thought for the good part of this year that I’d been miraculously healed of my eating disorders only to hear that voice of self hatred roar it’s ugly head again.
- Couples counseling is great but I seriously don’t feel like letting Ryne into the depth of my pain.
Thank you all for continuing to follow my progress and support me and my family, it’s appreciated more than you’ll ever know!